Heran, Hobby Kok Baca SMS HP Orang Lain Sih?

Thank you again for stoping by :~

  

      Terlebih dahulu saya nak minta maaf laaa kepada siapa siapa saja yang mungkin terlibat dalam post entry kali ni. Mungkin post entry ini agak biadap dan diwarnai dengan kata kata kesat. Pada sesiapa yang mempunyai penyakit alahan serta allergy terhadap butir butir perkataan yang mempunyai unsur kesat, tolong jangan baca. Ini hanyalah sekadar luahan perasaan yang tidak dapat diluahkan. Untuk ibu ibu mengandung juga, anda dilarang sama sekali untuk membaca post entry ini. Terima kasih :)

    Berminggu tanpa entry baru di blog ini sedangkan aku boleh melayan facebook setiap hari memang sangat pelik bagi blogger tegar (suatu masa dahulu) seperti aku..konon!! Betullah  facebook nie buat blogger lalai! Haha.. Bukanlah.. Aku memang sedikit sibuk dengan kerja . Projek apa aku tak berani nak bagitau lagi disini.. Entah berapa kali aku cakap aku ada projek, tapi aku tak tunjukkan hasilnya pun.. Er.. Perlu ke? Haha..

    Ok lah.. Tak perlu huraian diri yang begitu panjang, bukan ada yang nak ambil tahu.. Aku memang ada cerita, tapi aku memang malas nak update blog.. Tiada alasan terperinci kenapa aku begitu malas untuk update blog.. Sangat sukar untuk menjelaskannya.. Er.. Aku membebel lagi..

     Sepanjang penghasilan entry kali ini, aku pasang lagu Tell Me by Wonder Girls..aku pun xtaw apa rasionalnya..wakakaka..at least aku blogging bergoyang juga badan kan? xjuga memanas hantak kepala kat desktop..hahahaha!!

Ok..jangan buang masa lagi..Let's go!! 

     For a long time I blame myself for couldn’t be what you expected and wanted me to be. But one day, finally I come into this realization. For every thing that happens, it always has its own reason why it happens and ends up in that way. It’s no surprise. This reminds me of one quotation, "everything's happen for a reason". So, let just accept things as the way it is. Don't bother to ask why it happened to you but not others? I tried, yes I've tried to change my perspective towards you and really wanna stop myself for being noob, stereotyping people but it didn't work out. Nothing to share, let me just keep it to myself. SIGH. But like seriously, it really opened my eyes. No matter how it went down, I shouldn’t be mad.  It’s just a waste of time. Anger won’t take you anywhere, right? I don’t even understand why it bothers me but who cares? Gah, persetankan semua itu. I’m done. It’s over. Let it be over, for good.

     Haa nasib baik dah cool down. Nasib baik la kann Kalau tak dah hembus je tadi. Oii tolong la!!tak payah nak ceroboh privasi orang !!

Orang hilir berakit-rakit ke mudik,

blum pun sampai kenalah serang,

Gatal sangat ka tangan cik adik?

kalaw dah tak taw jaga privasi orang..

     Apa itu privasi? Keperibadian? Betul? Sila semak kamus dewan bahasa pustaka.. Aku main agak jer.. Setiap orang ada privasinya sendiri.. Ada masanya manusia itu perlu menempatkan dirinya dalam suasana persekitaran sendiri.. Tanpa gangguan tanpa keserabutan.. Siapa yang tidak setuju maknanya dia sudah boleh memohon kerja sebagai .. err.. takde idea..(tengok! cara aku menulis pon dah serabut.. ape ke benda ntah aku nie merepek!) Er.. Sorilah.. Aku dah malas nak mengikut undang-undang blog yang dicipta oleh manusia sama seperti aku.. Aku hanya takutkan tuhan.. Padahal benda nie jugak yang buat aku bising dulu..

    Dan privasi juga boleh dikaitkan dengan hak milik.. Hak milik itu pelbagai.. Barang, masa, awek (?) dan lain-lain (lagi sekali aku takde idea!)

 
    Aku rasa pada diri aku PRIVASI HANDPHONE nie dah tak ada..smua sms yg masuk nak kecoh..hei ko punya sms xda juga aku bernafsu maw baca ok..so kenapa maw sibuk maw taw sms aku? lantakla apa aku buat..and kalaw maw cakap tu cakap depan2 bah apa barang cakap belakang? pengecut? penakut? alaa..kamon la..

    Aku sangat tak suka kalau ada yang duk gatal tangan kacaw handset aku tanpe kebenaran aku.. Tengok gambar, tengok video, tengok contact, baca mesej bagai.. Hello! Handset aku tak pernah ada cerita satu warna dot 3gp ok! Haha.. Aku sangat tak suka kalau ada yang buka sms ditujukan pada aku walaupun keluarga aku sendiri .. Tak tau kenapa.. Kalau sms itu untuk aku, sudah tentulah aku sendiri yang perlu buka and baca.. Kalau orang lain yang baca dulu, dah tak jadi sms aku lah namanya! Tak kisahlah sms, hanya aku yang boleh membukanya.. Itu pasti!

     Okay tak perlu laa aku nak kutuk bagai. Kalau aku bersalah pun, aku ada susah kan kau ke? Yang buruk tu aku, bukan kau. Kalau rasa macam mengacau sangat, tutup je mata. Biar kau jalan sampai langgar dinding. Cakap ikut suka mulut kau je. Diri sendiri tak sempat nak pandang. Yelaaa busy sangat jaga kebajikan orang lain. Kan kan kan? Bukan apa laaa kan, pelik ja dengan perangai kau ni. Dah laaa kau ceroboh privasi aku, pastu aku nak betah balik kau cakap topik lain pulak. Kau ni tak belajar EDU3102 ke? Sumpah doe aku memang sakit hati gila dengan kau. Mampus laaa kalau aku nak messy ke apa. Kenapa kau yang susah susah ea? 

     Then kenapa kau yang sibuk sibuk jaga tepi kain orang ni?  Biar laaa kalau aku nak buat apa pun dengan kehidupan aku. Madah laaa kalau aku buat begitu. Sampai bila nak macam tu je? Sampai bila bila ke? Agaknya kau pun macam tu kan? Tak berubah ubah. Orang lain dah pergi zaman lain, kau masih lagi hidup zaman batu, duduk dalam gua. Lukis lukis dekat dinding...wakakaka... 
  

    Aku nak tanya ni..korang marah tak bila ada soneone else cuba untuk melakukan perbuatan yang korang totally xsuka..SUKA TAKK?? SUKA?? TAK KAN!!!!

goooddd...

Next~ korang suka tak bila kawan korang sembunyi-sembunyi baca sms korang? SUKA TAK?? SUKA TAK?? MESTI XSUKA KAN!!! haa..orang cakap baca sms orang lain tu menjadi perkara biasa..( OMG!! wave MY middle finger ) 

Warrgghhhhh!!! aku paling benci bila perkara ini terjadi pada aku..SHIT BTUL!!

    Hei, selama ni aku letak phone aku gitu je coz aku trust kawan aku..aku respect dorang, privacy dorang..kerna setitik nila rosak susu sebelanga..rasalah ko..kawan aku duduk sebelah aku xpernah juga maw baca2 sms aku..dorang nak tgk phone aku pun, aku bagi bah kalaw dorang tanya dlu..dorang respect privacy aku so aku trust dorang..inilah pest time aku letak password kat phone aku..X KA MENYUSAHKAN AKU? ASAL MAW BUKA TAIP PASWORD? ..

    Hidup bersama orang bererti kita hidup dalam masyarakat... Kita tidak hidup sendirian dan masih ada orang berada di sekeliling kita... Situasi ini merujuk kepada kehidupan di hostel, rumah, apartment atau di mana-mana sahaja tempat tinggal... Tidak kira siapa jua anda...

    Bila hidup beramai-ramai... Hidup sudah sebumbung... Tidur sudah sekatil... Mesti privasi pun kurang... Aku orang yang amat menjaga privasi orang lain.. Aku yakin... Manusia memerlukan privasinya sendiri... Setidak-tidaknya di tandas, semua ada privasi sendiri...kan..kan.. Setuju..? Haha..

    Tapi sayang tak semua dalam dunia ni tahu menghormati privasi orang lain... Berasa sensitif pada keadaan sekeliling.... Bila berjumpa orang sebegini apa rasa anda ya...? Nak tanya sikit... Apa anda buat ya...? Nak tahu juga rasa anda bila berjumpa orang-orang semacam ini... Kalau diri ini.... Ahh lemah nya bila jumpa orang-orang semacam ini... Aku ini jenis orang yang tidak tahu menegur... Mahupun memberitahu seseorang itu yang aku rasa terganggu... Aku cuma pendam dalam hati dan berharap orang itu sedarlah sendiri... Kalau silap cara menegur, diri sendiri pula yang terkena... Jadi... Pendam sajalah... Ish..Ish.. Tolong ajar budak umur setahun jagung ni cara-cara tegur orang boleh..? Ahaa..

    Nasihat aku.. berhati2 laa. Secure korang punya handphone, laptop or facebook and semua yang korang guna lah. To orang yang tak tahu malu dan bodoh takde otak tu, tolong la hormat hak orang okay. Jangan nak jadi bodoh sangat ganggu hidup orang okayy.

Pakai nikmat akal tu sebaik mungkin.

    Aku minta maaf okay kalau ni macam agak keterlaluan. But seriously laa kan, apa yang kau buat tu lagi laaa melampau. Kalau kau buat dekat mana mana orang pun, mesti mereka tu semua akan panas. Oh mungkin aku yang very the close minded. Lantak kau laaa nak cakap apa. Jangan nanti kau nak buat permohonan maaf secara besar besaran pulak. Memang permohonan kau terbatal serta merta. Kau mintak laa cop pengesahan dari pegawai A banyak mana sekali pun, tak lulus punya.  

Rasanya

Masa sekarang ni

Aku tak berminat nak angkat call, reply text atau apa2 pun

Dah cukup la tu perbuatan ko kat aku

Aku tak perlukan itu kay

Please respect others. Tolong jangan nak ceroboh hak orang. Kalau orang buat benda sama kat kau macam mana ?? Fikir pakai otaklah !!

Finishing song : Privacy by Blue 

Ú §†ïll Lövê Mê? *Ðïggïñg m¥ ñö§ê*

Thank you so much for dropping by =)

 

           Eh, benarkah kalau ada jodoh tak ke mana juga nanti? Hurm... This statement is totally stereotype! Aku sungguh terkilan dan terluka bila mendengar bait-bait kata itu. Its just an alternative to escape yourself from answering a love-related stupid f*cking question(s). Aku memang sarcastic! Ya, itu bukan satu jawapan yang baik kerana kau memberi sedikit harapan cerah kepada si penyoal (tukang soal). Harapan cerah? Ops, maksud aku, kau hanya akan membuat si tukang soal tertanya-tanya dan berharap tanpa kau sedari. Erk, adakah explaination aku agak sukar untuk difahami atau aku cakap berbelit-belit? Okay, aku bagi contoh dialog.

Bee: Oi Baby, aku tengok kau dengan Bear bukan main sweet couple lagi. Bila nak kahwin wei?

Baby: Eleh, jealous lah tu kau Bee. Hah? Kahwin? Lama lagi kot. Alaa, kalau ada jodoh tak ke mana juga.

Bee: Ayat bukan main lagi si Baby ni. Tak apa, kalau kau tak ada jodoh dengan si Bear, aku ada. Hihi.. Kan kalau jodoh tak ke mana. *Ketawa tapi dalam hati berbunga-bunga penuh harapan*

Baby: Kau berminat dengan aku ek? Ye la, kalau ada jodoh tak ke mana juga. Tapi kau memang perasan lah Bee. Tak kuasa aku melayan sewel kau ni.

Bee: Tak kuasa melayan konon tapi kau layan juga aku. Nasib kau lah Baby dapat kawan handsome macam aku ni. Muahaha... 

Baby: ...? *Perasan!*

          Sekarang ada faham bagaimana fungsi kalau ada jodoh tak ke mana juga? Ya, ia menggambarkan bahawa seseorang itu seakan-akan bersikap acuh tidak acuh atau tidak yakin dengan perhubungannya. Sila betulkan aku jika aku silap. Ini adalah pendapat aku semata-mata dan berdasarkan pengalaman aku hidup sepanjang 20 tahun ni. Aiseh.. Walaupun kau cinta mati pada pasangan kau tapi kau tetap akan rasa insecure bahawa hubungan kau belum tentu akan berakhir dengan happy ending atau naik pelamin bukan? Cepat, sila mengaku! Ya, mesti kau akan rasa sedikit tidak pasti akan masa depan perhubungan kau dan pasangan kau. Apa saja kemungkinan bakal terjadi di luar jangkaan kau. Kau fikir sendiri lah apa kemungkinan-kemungkinan tu semua. Jalan selamat yang terbaik adalah just follow the flow dan wait and see the future. Maka, kalau ada jodoh tak ke mana juga adalah satu jawapan escapism yang terbaik. Eh, langsung tak baik okay! Kalau kau serius terhadap perhubungan kau, tidak wujud kalau ada jodoh tak ke mana juga melainkan kehendak takdir Ilahi bahawa kau sememangnya tidak ditakdirkan untuk bersama dia. Jika itu terjadi, biarkan dia berlalu pergi dan gembira dengan kehidupannya tanpa kau. Kau harus redha. Jangan kau jadi bodoh pula berpegang pada bait-bait kata kalau ada jodoh tak ke mana juga dan terus menanti berharap pada yang tidak sudi. Tolong jangan sia-siakan hidup kau pada orang yang tidak sudi. Kau harus move on! Eh, aku sudah menyimpang jauh. Pitching lari.

          Back to the topic, itu cerita dari pihak kau. Pihak yang satu pula, si tukang soal yang diam-diam menaruh perasaan dan harapan untuk bersama kau. Bila kau kata kalau ada jodoh tak ke mana juga walaupun kau sekadar bergurau dan langsung tidak serious tapi dalam kau tidak sedar sebenarnya kau memberi harapan palsu kepada si tukang soal. Silent hope ni sungguh tidak sihat sebab ia menyeksakan. Aku tahu sebab aku ada pengalaman. Bila kau tanpa sedar memberi harapan kepada secret admirer kau, maka persahabatan  perjalanan hidup antara kau dan si tukang soal akan berubah sama sekali. Its totally change! Maksud aku, si tukang soal mula bertindak lebih maju ke hadapan dan berbeza dari kebiasaannya. Silap hari bulan, memang kau dan si tukang soal akan kalau ada jodoh tak ke mana juga lah jadinya. Keadaan ini hanya akan mengeruhkan perhubungan kau dan pasangan kau. Tidak semena-mena si tukang soal pula yang berjodoh dengan kau. *Hahaha*

         Di sini aku ingin menyampaikan bahawa bait-bait kata kalau ada jodoh tak ke mana juga bukan bahan lawak jenaka yang boleh dibuat main-main. Kau jangan sengaja cari nahas melainkan si tukang soal itu memang satu kepala dengan kau. Tapi walaupun kau satu kepala dengan si tukang soal, peratusan keberhasilan untuk kalau ada jodoh tak ke mana juga tetap ada. *Aku sengaja buat kau rasa gelabah.*

         Tapi dari pihak yang lain pula (aku mahu elaborate panjang lebar) iaitu si tukang soal yang tiada langsung menaruh apa-apa perasaan terhadap kau. Si tukang soal ini boleh menjaja cerita bahawa kau langsung tidak serious dan/atau masih ragu-ragu terhadap perhubungan kau dan pasangan kau (walaupun sebenarnya kau memang cinta mati pada pasangan kau). Erk, aku berfikiran negatif pula. Okay, mana lah tahu si tukang soal tu boleh overcross kau atau potong stim untuk flirt dengan pasangan kau. Alaa, kau sudah kata kalau ada jodoh tak ke mana juga kan, kan, kan? *Aku ketawa cover mulut supaya nampak sopan* Okay aku serious, si tukang soal tu boleh buat apa sahaja yang langsung kau tak pernah terfikir dan terlintas dek akal. Good or bad is up to the person. Bukankah unexpected things are interesting? *Senyum-senyum selalu*

          As conclusion, kalau ada jodoh tak ke mana juga. <<<Serious, aku tak suka dengan bait-bait kata ni. I'm hurting deeply without you notice it. Ouch~

Hiding = Lying

No, I'm not talking about lying as in baring/terlantar or whatever okay. Memang tak sama la dengan menipu -_-"

"I'm not lying to you, I've just decided not to tell anything about it. It's not the same as lying."

It's just baffled me that people are actually using that excuse in order not to be labeled as a liar.

Well, keeping away the truth from a person is pretty synonym to lying isn't it. Both hiding and lying serves the same purpose. So to hell with that pathetic excuse, both are just the same.

Guess what you're not only a liar, but an idiot too!!

3rd Person SuckX

Do be faithful in your relationship.

Do respect other's relationship.

Don't cheat.

Don't be a home wrecker. 

Don't be a selfish bastard la you fuck.

One of my principles when it comes to relationship: Do not cheat, and do not mess with other's relationship.

I am proud to say that for all this time, I've never go against this principle of mine. I've been tempted before, but I've restrained myself, and I hope that I will never ever cross that line. Still, to anyone out there, here's a quick tip: make sure to make a background check on that person before dating, or else enjoy those malicious fictions about yourself stealing and fucking someone else's boyfriend -_-" <-- Which is pretty stupid, given the predicaments that I've been through. That's why I am holding on to this promise. And please laaa at least make some research or find out both sides of the story before nak aibkan orang if you don't want to end up sounding like retarded circus monkey.

Anyways, back to the topic. People cheat. Why? For various reasons. Kalau nak tau sangat google la, like what you did to find something doubtfully brilliant and witty status on your facebook wall.

These kind of people, they are well aware of the consequences, yet still boldly having affairs with one another, just to satisfy each other's needs. What kind of needs? You can google that too.

Obviously yang aku suruh google bukan the main reason aku nak post pasal benda ni. It's actually about the people who are affected by the selfish actions of their own beloved. 

Remember this, you are not only hurting those who you so called love, but others as well. 

Sebagai contoh:

You are now in college. You cheated on your girl whom you've known since high school. Your high school sweetheart is heartbroken, shattered into dusts which will eventually be blown away by the soft whispers of the wind and will no longer exist. Her best friends gonna hate you. High school friends gonna hate you. Her parents gonna hate you. Your parents who wants her as an in law gonna hate you.Your college buddies who likes you and your girlfriend together will be appalled by this and they gonna hate you. Your waiter who serves you and your girlfriend on a basis will notice this and he's gonna hate you. Everyone's hates you now. The universe hates you. The higher forces hates you. You too will hate yourself then commit suicide by the overwhelming level of hate.

 This applies if your 'real' cayang is not a pain la. Tapi se-pain mana pun pasangan anda, don't you ever resort to cheating. At least break secara berhemah la dulu. Kalau dia tak nak lepaskan jugak, then wave your middle finger goodbye to that nigga.

Okay so contoh tu agak exaggerated tapi, it shows that you will hurt other people too, kan? Trust will not only be shattered between you and your 'loved' one, but the rest too probably will never see you the same way again. So renung-renungkan lah :)

Itu untuk orang kedua. Orang ketiga, you think I'm going to let you get away with it?

Banyak lagi ikan dalam kolam. Serious. Tapi tak tau la pasal lelaki kan, the good ones are either married or gay. Tu la korang risau kan?? Memang patut risau pun. Tapi kadang-kadang kita buta, terlalu leka mengejar apa yang disangkakan baik sehingga tak sedar kebaikan yang mengejar kita. 

Satu lagi, what goes around comes around. Kalau orang tu willing ada affair dengan kau, dan kemudian pada satu hari bila affair tu is no longer an affair, bila korang dah official dan dah public, ada kemungkinan dia akan buat benda yang sama dekat kau macam dia dah buat dalam past relationship dia, bukan? It's not only humiliating, but it's heartbreaking too.

Kepada orang yang pertama, the betrayed. Memang sedih, sangat sedih, amat sedih. Tabahkan diri, anggap ianya ujian dari yang Esa. It takes hell of a time and courage to move on. Jangan risau. At least now you know that someone who doesn't belong to a significant place in your life, someone who is beneath you. It's not your fault that you're too good for them. Ceh ayat :P

Another do, do bear in mind, that we're only humans. We make mistakes. Some mistakes can be accepted, but if too much then you can't expect an instant forgiveness kan? Mungkin juga takkan dimaafkan. But from everything we do, we have to learn and grow from it. They say experience is the best teacher. Kalau the best teacher pun tak boleh mengajar kita, tak memberi apa-apa impak, then ntah lah labuuu.

Dengan itu saya ingin mengakhiri post saya buat kali ini dengan lagu Unfaithful dari Rihanna. 

Because that's the only songt I can come up

 with for now.

New Sem New Sam

Sup everyone. at last, i am finally manage myself to write my very first entry EVER for this month. haha. i really dont know what to say here since i am not into this actually. my girlfriend had been pushing me to create a blog. so, you can blame on her for that. haha. i am feeling so gay right now. well, i am always like that fyi. GAY is COOL. hahaha. i have feelings with a guy who studies at the same campus as mine. shhh. keep it as a secret, dont let my girl knows that. promise me *pinky promise*. good. hahaha. i dont have any ideas left. i really dont know what to write here. soryy readers. :P

Oouh, before i ended this entry. there is something you need to know.
this entry is not written by me, but it is actually

written by my girlfriend. thanks for all the hard work babe. *winks*

HAHAHAHA. :P

sayang, you got prank! hehe. no lah. his the one who actually asked me to write an entry for him. hehe. :)

We Sing, We Dance and We Cry

How can it be that two of the greatest friends in the world can go from being each other's everything to absolutely nothing?


Well here's the story..

            When i meet you, finally I have found a place into which I fit perfectly, safely, and securely with no doubts, fears, sadness, or tears. This place is filled with happiness and laughter, yet it is spacious enough to allow me the freedom to move around, to live my life, and to be myself. This wonderful place, which I never believed really existed, I have found finally in your arms, in your heart, and in your love...babe. I can't help tonight but lay here and think about all the stupid stuff we've done together. I wouldn't want to be stupid with anyone else but you. I look at you and you looks back at me with ur beautiful eyes, smiles, and it pathetically makes my day..

            Once again I find myself trying to be okay with the fact that we are just friends but then you grab my hand and well then I'm not okay.. Four o’clock in the morning, my mind’s filled with a thousand thoughts of you..Well, There's a good side to getting hurt a lot...after a while it just doesn't bother you as much..well you can try your hardest, you can do everything and say everything, but sometimes people just aren't worth trying over anymore...they aren't worth worrying about...it's important to know when to let go of someone who only brings you down just like you..

             You may have created my past and screwed up my present, but you have no control over my future !! For once, instead of telling me the reasons why i shouldnt cry or worried, actually pay attention to the reasons why I am !! And if i hurt you, then i'm sorry. Please don't think that this was easy..All good things have endings ok...i dunno how do im gonna leave the past behind, when it keeps finding ways to get to my heart back...I don't know if I've ever felt like that. That I wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist...

             You hurt me so bad, but maybe it's my fault, because I stuck around too long. I was lost. There was nobody for me to talk to about all that you were troubling me with. So I sat alone, with everything inside, and cried myself to sleep..Sometimes if you really want to make things work you have to keep you mouth shut and put your hurt aside..I never knew until this moment, what it was like to lose something I never really had. Only the one that hurts me, can make me feel better. Only the one who inflicts the pain, can take it away..yet u pretend like there's notin happen..

              By the time you realize what you're losing, I'll be lost. I smile when I feel like crying, I act like I am okay, when everything falling apart inside and I let it go. I move on, because there's nothing else I can do... I guess everyone has their reasons for keeping people away, an instinct to protect yourself from getting hurt. It's part of human nature..maybe..

              And when you begin to miss me, dont forget it was you who let me go.. nothing hurts more than waiting since I don't even know what I'm waiting for anymore. I walk away now with the realization that it will never be the way i want it to be.  This is where I say I've had enough. No one should ever feel the way that I feel now. All I wanted to do was collapse in someone's arms and cry today...but there wasn't anyone there to catch me.. I've finally realized the people that you love who don't love you back are just another lesson in life .. it's like God is teaching us that there can be so much better than what we thought was the best...

               It sucks you know to be alone, even when there are people all around you..I have this great imaginary world with you, but sometimes I just need things to happen for real..I love to sleep coz my life has a tendency to fall apart when I'm awake..I want to be remembered as a boy who always smiles even when his heart is broken, and the one who could always brighten up a day even if I couldn't brighten my own.. Sometimes I  awake at night and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night..so dont thnk bout it'..

              You know what? The only thing standing between me and total happiness is reality..if you get what i mean..You may not realize it after this, but on the inside I'm crying. I may smile and laugh, but that's my only way of hiding.. Forgetting doesn't make it all better, it just makes it hurt again when I remember you..AAAA!!! It's hard to sleep; I don't wanna dream about things I know aren't going to become reality..you never see my tears, but that doesn't mean I don't cry. You never feel my pain, but that doesn't mean I don't hurt. You only see me smile, and that doesn't mean that I am happy ok.. I pretend to be happy so I don't have to explain myself to people who'll never understand..

               Sometimes people fill their minds with stupid things, you know, to keep themselves from thinking about what is really important..Sometimes I also wonder why words can mean nothing and silence can mean everything..Hey, Just because you don’t see the tears on the outside doesn’t mean it isn’t pouring on the inside ok..It's just not the same when you wake up in the morning with a smile on your face when you know you lied yourself to sleep to make it better. Sometimes the littlest thing in life changes something forever and there will be times I wish I can go back to how things used to be but I just can't because things have changed so much.

Every betrayal begins with trust..keep in mind that..

                I still get my hopes up every time, hoping that, just this once, you'll care. But you don't. You never do. I've been broken before. I know what it feels like to see something funny and not be able to laugh. And you know what the hardest part is? That now, when I cry, I don't even try to stop my tears because I know they're going to fall no matter what !! The longer i'm away from you, I realize i wasn't in love with you, I was in love with the thought of loving you..

               Live to like you, and I can't like you anymore.  So when you get your heart splattered all over hell and you're feeling really low, don't run to me to help pull you back up because, maybe, for the first time in your life, I won’t be there.

                I know I've made a lot of stupid mistakes in my life, but the worst one was thinking that the person who hurt me the most wouldn't hurt me again. Somehow, just now had conversation mentioned your name. And someone asked if I knew you. Looking away I had a thought of all the times we had together, sharing laughter, tears, jokes and tons more...and then, without explanation you were gone. I looked to where they were waiting for an answer and then said softly, 'once I thought I did.' I shouldn't care or wonder how you are, but I can't hide this hurt inside my broken heart. I'm fighting back emotions that I've never fought before because I'm not supposed to love you anymore.

                 When someone you love abandons you, it doesn't hurt just because they've changed, or lied, or went back on their promises ... but because you know what they really are and what a beautiful person they can be. And when they take that away from you and won't allow you to see that beautiful person again, nothing hurts more than having someone just decide to take your entire world away without consulting you first.

                 I miss you when something really good happens because you're the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me because you're the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry because I know you are the one who made my laughter grow and my tears disappear I miss you all the time but I miss you the most when I lie awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with each other, because those were some of the best and most memorable times of my life. I'm so pissed at myself. That's right pissed at myself, not you. I'm pissed for always being nice, always apologizing for things I didn't do, for getting attached, making you my life, depending on you, wasting my time on you, thinking about you, following you, changing for you, forgiving you, wishing for you, dreaming of you, and most of all for not hating you, which I know I should, but I can't.

( hearing to 3 doors down song ~ I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind, I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time, I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams, and tonight it’s only you and me )

           Last night I keep my soul, then I cried myself to sleep, so sure life wouldn't go on without you. But oh this mornin sun is blinding me as it wakes me from the dark. I guess the world didn't stop for my broken heart.

( You were everything, everything that I wanted, we were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it, all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away, all this time you were pretending, so much for my happy ending - Avril )

           

So many people have come into my life, and I know they'll all be going. But I'm going to be losing one of my best friends I could ever have. I don't know how I'll get through that. I need to take an emotional breath, step back and remind myself who is actually in charge of my life.

Everything is fine.




Couldn't hurt more..=)

Imma Back !!

what's shaking baby? nice start right. haha. 


                    goodness. its been awhile kan. its not that i


didnt have a spare time to blog. im always


                  here. but, it takes time for me to get the mood 


of blogging. plus, i have too many stories to 


                  share until i dont know where to start. So, its 


kinda ruined my mood to blog.

okay, lets move on. lets hear another story 

from me. err. erm.

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(10 minutes passed)

errr, hehe. where do i start eh? nak cerita pasal exam.


 thats too 


boring!

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(6 minutes passed LITERALLY)

i think i just ruined my mood. dang it! >:|